. . .And Beyond

The last couple months have been an interesting time for me. Physically, I was here, there and everywhere: USA, Bermuda, Holland, home, NYC, Chula Vista. I was never entirely settled, never comfortable and never completely at ease. It was one of those times when I felt constantly on edge, knowing that I would only be in a spot for a short period of time; anticipating the time when I would have to adjust and adapt and cope again with new surroundings. But on second thought. Maybe the change I was coping with didn't have to do only with the things around me, but what was going on inside of me. I felt the foreboding sense that something was about to happen to me - that I was listlessly waiting for the proper moment for that change to occur - for life to change course. I was waiting. Not doing. Before I returned to Holland though, that changed (change changed, interesting). I finally realized after 23 years of just following a path, that I had a choice in the next direction my lif

I AM By Rachel Dawson I am I As seen by my own eye. I hear the words of me that be spoken, But I refuse to let them beat me broken. I am I As heard by my own ear. I taste the salt of your minds distain, But from my purpose it will not cause restrain. I am I As tasted by my own tongue I feel your judgement upon me cast But to your verdict I will not hold steadfast. I am I As felt by my own heart. and from myself, I will not depart. For, I am I, Seen by mine eye, Heard by mine ear, Tasted by my tongue. Felt by my heart. I am I And of the world I am, but a part.

Cliche Mom-ism: chew your food before swallowing...Oops, sorry Mom, I forgot to take your advice on this one - I took a big bite, and unfortunately, I choked. Big Time. I missed a sudden death stroke in the Final of the Pan Am Cup that ended our bid for World Cup Qualification and gave the win to Argentina. I could sit here and try to rationalize a meaning from the situation - I could analyse what happened, why it happened, and what I learned from it. But it doesn't change the fact that we lost - and I crumbled under pressure. Oh well. You live, you learn, and sometimes you just have to forget. Self-doubt and fear crept in. I let a momentary panic attack and fear of missing change my plan of attack - I made a brash, sudden, and unbased decision...funny how our minds can get the best of us. Or do they get the worst of us. But like I said, I won't analyze. It is what it is. And it is OVER. On to the next phase. Perhaps I won't take so big of a bite this time. PS: I never g

Its a day of love. Hugs and Kisses, xoxo. Speaking of X's and O's, game on today - at 2:30 pm, we take the field against Trinidad and Tobago. It will be an interesting semi-final match up. I have never played against T&T, so we are ready for the unexpected. Speaking of unexpected, I would love a delivery of unexpected flowers. But that is just wishful thinking - highly unlikely, most improbable, although not (pause) impossible. Wink, Wink. After the game, I intend to indulge in some highly entertaining chick flicks, maybe a stroll on Horse Shoe Beach - ya know, its the usual here in Bermuda. With three days rest since our last game against Mexico (note: we won 6-0), I am a bit bored. Can you sense the ennui in my tone?? Ugh. I can't wait to play. Too much "free" time. I wish you could loan out time. I have a surplus right now. Interest rates are low - I am selling at an attractive price. Any takers? Ok. Off to occupy my mind till game time. Toodles. x

Quick Recap: In the first two games of the tournament, we have come out victorious beating Jamaica 10-0 and Chile 2-0. These wins put us in a good position as we prepare to play Mexico on Tuesday. Hockey aside though - I am thoroughly enjoying the serenity of Bermuda. We are staying at a beautiful resort and spa Hotel right next to the water. Today, I explored the majestic beaches that surround our hotel and relaxed in the outdoor hot tub with a few teammates. I feel as though I should be on my honeymoon, not on a hockey trip with 20 girls...Oh well, hopefully that will come in time. As for now I plan on enjoying the peace of this calm island. Personally, a trip like this could not have come at a better time. It is exactly what I needed. Just take a look at the picture.

We were en route to Bermuda on Tuesday, that is until we took a little pit stop to the bitter cold Big Apple. Our flight to Hamilton was canceled as soon as we deplaned at JFK. So we jumped shipped, booked a hotel in Times Square and spent a couple of days in my favorite city. It seemed like everyone had a friend to catch up with, and it was a great getaway from the monotony of training in Chula Vista. Luckily, we had a couple days to spare and we weren't in a hurry to get to Bermuda. However, attire-wise, we were most unprepared for the winter weather. Imagine traveling from San Diego to Bermuda - would you pack a winter coat??? A few of the girls ate a nice Italian feast down in Little Italy while others stayed in Midtown to catch a comedy show with Lauren Powley's brother. I must admit, I absolutely love the buzz of NYC. It is a city of its own kind; a place where you are free to be who you want to be and do what you want to do - a place where there seems to be no li